Okay, I know you are frightened to death. Dateline runs a special with lots of men showing up in various stages of undress to meet young teens. Your cherubic 14 year old is swearing like a truckdriver (whoops, I mean a sailor. You can learn more about this reference at my new podcast by clicking here or by subscribing to my feed. Or your kid's friends are engaging in provocative behavior, posting inappropriate pictures an doing things that shock you on their profiles. How safe is MySpace.com? or the other sites? How worried should you be? This podcast is free and will be updated as often as I can update it...
this is not the time to panic. it's the time to get real...be there for your kids and start "the talk". You can learn more by visiting often or subscribing to the feed. This podcast introduces the issue of myspace.com and what parents need to do and more importantly, not do. So, here goes. Click here to hear the audio file. If you don't know how, ask your kids. :-)
be safe
Parry
Monday, February 06, 2006
for teens...MySpace.com safety tips...
If you click on safety tips on myspace.com's front page, you'll read our tips. Our teenangels (our teen Internet safety expert teams) are writing the teen tips for myspace.com too.
I am not here to be the bad guy, but to find ways you can use these new technologies and stay in touch with your friends safely. You can learn more about this from this podcast, just for you by clicking here.
Also, if you are interested in helping us create the safety guide for teens, we welcome your elp. drop me an e-mail at parry@wiredsafety.org.
bes safe
Parry
I am not here to be the bad guy, but to find ways you can use these new technologies and stay in touch with your friends safely. You can learn more about this from this podcast, just for you by clicking here.
Also, if you are interested in helping us create the safety guide for teens, we welcome your elp. drop me an e-mail at parry@wiredsafety.org.
bes safe
Parry
Removing your child's (or your own) MySpace.com profile
While we get the podcasting working so you can hear the audio files and subscribe to my feed and listen to it on your ipod or other MP3 player or itunes, I thought I would make it easy. So here is the text version of the instructions.
Myspace has two major ways you can remove an entire profile (the content and profile itself). One way is to access myspace.com feeback section and click on "I want to remove my profile"...by supplying your url. They will then send removal instructions to the original e-mail address used to set up the profile and registration. The problem is that the e-mail address might not be working, the password to access it might have been replaced or the e-mail may have been fake to begin with. Even if the e-mail is otherwise working, the instructions are often blocked as "Spam" by your ISP, and never get to you.
So, what's a parent (or myspace user) to do?
We have worked out a process with MySpace.com. (we hope to make it even easier going forward). This only requires that you have the password and login information for the profile, either because your children are cooperating with you or because you have their password.
There are two steps. You remove everything on their profile, all photos, comments, content and posts. Then e-mail customercare@myspace.com with the url of the page and a request to remove the profile. You can also type in the otherwise empty profile "please remove this profile". Then Myspace.com can remove the profile without the code or any further action on your part.
The trick here is getting your kids to cooperate. Many parents write me and tell me that their kids refuse ot give up their passwords or share their profiles with their parents. I suggest that parents remember who pays for Internet access...this is now a parenting issue, not a technology one. Check back for my audio podcast on this, my newest pet peeve...Parents who are afraid to parent.
good luck!
stay safe!
Parry
Myspace has two major ways you can remove an entire profile (the content and profile itself). One way is to access myspace.com feeback section and click on "I want to remove my profile"...by supplying your url. They will then send removal instructions to the original e-mail address used to set up the profile and registration. The problem is that the e-mail address might not be working, the password to access it might have been replaced or the e-mail may have been fake to begin with. Even if the e-mail is otherwise working, the instructions are often blocked as "Spam" by your ISP, and never get to you.
So, what's a parent (or myspace user) to do?
We have worked out a process with MySpace.com. (we hope to make it even easier going forward). This only requires that you have the password and login information for the profile, either because your children are cooperating with you or because you have their password.
There are two steps. You remove everything on their profile, all photos, comments, content and posts. Then e-mail customercare@myspace.com with the url of the page and a request to remove the profile. You can also type in the otherwise empty profile "please remove this profile". Then Myspace.com can remove the profile without the code or any further action on your part.
The trick here is getting your kids to cooperate. Many parents write me and tell me that their kids refuse ot give up their passwords or share their profiles with their parents. I suggest that parents remember who pays for Internet access...this is now a parenting issue, not a technology one. Check back for my audio podcast on this, my newest pet peeve...Parents who are afraid to parent.
good luck!
stay safe!
Parry
Sunday, February 05, 2006
The MySpace profile removal process...from their site instructions
MySpace.com has a removal process that requires you to send a request to remove the profile. A response is sent to the e-mail used to register the profile account initially. As long as that is a valid e-mail address and isn't blocked by SPAM filters, this process works easily. You can view this process herethrough this video file.
If this doesn't work, I have worked out an alternate process with MySpace. You can listen to the instructions for that here
be safe,
Parry
If this doesn't work, I have worked out an alternate process with MySpace. You can listen to the instructions for that here
be safe,
Parry
Podcasting on Myspace.com issues - overall tips for parents
I have begun podcasting...be patient, while I make this work :-)
So many parents have been concerned about their teens posting profiles on MySpace.com that we have tried to get them information they need the most. We'll address the FAQs and tips on this and other important Internet safety issues.
Probably the question I am asked the most by parents and teens is how to remove their profile. There is a process set up by MySpace.com that requires you to send a request to remove your profile from the site. Then a code is sent to the e-mail address used to register the profile initially giving the instructions for removal of the profile. But there are many problems with this process. Often the teen doesn't have access to that e-mail account any longer, or it was never a real one to begin with. Or the code is lost in the SPAM-blocking processes of the recipient's ISP and never makes it to them.
MySpace.com asks parents to work with their children to remove their own profiles. Together with MySpace, WiredSafety.org has worked out an alternative process for profile removal (assuming the teen has their password).
I explain that with the password and login, the teen can remove their content themselves. Removing the now empty profile requires a little help. A special address at MySpace.com handles this process. The MP3 explains that process.
The MP3 explains that process.
So many parents have been concerned about their teens posting profiles on MySpace.com that we have tried to get them information they need the most. We'll address the FAQs and tips on this and other important Internet safety issues.
Probably the question I am asked the most by parents and teens is how to remove their profile. There is a process set up by MySpace.com that requires you to send a request to remove your profile from the site. Then a code is sent to the e-mail address used to register the profile initially giving the instructions for removal of the profile. But there are many problems with this process. Often the teen doesn't have access to that e-mail account any longer, or it was never a real one to begin with. Or the code is lost in the SPAM-blocking processes of the recipient's ISP and never makes it to them.
MySpace.com asks parents to work with their children to remove their own profiles. Together with MySpace, WiredSafety.org has worked out an alternative process for profile removal (assuming the teen has their password).
I explain that with the password and login, the teen can remove their content themselves. Removing the now empty profile requires a little help. A special address at MySpace.com handles this process. The MP3 explains that process.
The MP3 explains that process.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
Why the 'Dateline' predators were not charged - The Abrams Report - MSNBC.com
this is why I oppose vigilante online gorups posing as kids to lure predators for media. I want these people in jail, not on TV.
sadly, they now will learn from this how to be more careful next time. :-(
Parry
sadly, they now will learn from this how to be more careful next time. :-(
Parry
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Newsday.com: Safe surfing online - Long Island cyberbullying summit
"be nice and have no enemies" good advice from Savannah (12 yrs)
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Web site raises alarms in P'town (September 22, 2005)
some thoughts about social-networking websites. Parents shouldn't panic!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Saturday, September 17, 2005
House bill commending Parry and Teenangels.org
Recognizing the achievements and contributions of `Teenangels' and WiredSafety/WiredKids Executive Director Parry Aftab, in addressing the growing problem of cyberbullying in the United... (Introduced in House)
HRES 296 IH
109th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. RES. 296
Recognizing the achievements and contributions of `Teenangels' and WiredSafety/WiredKids Executive Director Parry Aftab, in addressing the growing problem of cyberbullying in the United States.
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
May 24, 2005
Ms. LINDA T. SANCHEZ of California (for herself and Mr. GREEN of Wisconsin) submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Education and the Workforce, and in addition to the Committee on Energy and Commerce, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concerned
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RESOLUTION
Recognizing the achievements and contributions of `Teenangels' and WiredSafety/WiredKids Executive Director Parry Aftab, in addressing the growing problem of cyberbullying in the United States.
Whereas cyberbullying is defined as the transmission by one minor to another minor, through Web sites, instant messaging, camera phones, cell phones, Web blogs, or other electronic means, threats of physical harm, terrorist threats, comments meant to damage the reputation, embarrass, humiliate, insult, spread rumors, defame, or intimidate;
Whereas cyberbullying can cause psychological harm, negatively impact academic performance, safety, and the well-being of children in school, force children to change schools, and in some cases lead to murder or suicide;
Whereas given the anonymity of all electronic communications, children and adolescents' sometimes lack of impulse control and underdeveloped empathy skills, the potential for widespread public distribution, limited Internet responsible use education, and the inability to appreciate the harm caused by cyberbullying, such acts can be particularly dangerous and cruel to youths;
Whereas as WiredSafety.org and StopCyberbullying.org's studies have found that this problem affects all children from 9 years old to 14 years old, and often involves cyber-sexual harassment targeting students over 14 years of age; and their studies have shown that more than 85 percent of preteens have had their feelings hurt by someone else online, and a large percentage of preteens and teens have had their passwords or identities stolen, and an average of 60 percent of the middle school students polled admitted to being involved directly or indirectly in a cyberbullying incident (in some cases as high as 97 percent of students polled at certain schools admitted to being involved in a cyberbullying incident), and that more than 65 percent of teens polled have intentionally visited Web sites that made fun of their peers;
Whereas studies also show that parents, teachers, guidance counselors, students, and law enforcement agents are often ill-equipped to deal with cyberbullying or misunderstand it, thinking that it is merely offline bullying moved to cyberspace;
Whereas Parry Aftab is one of the world's leading experts on cybercrime, Internet privacy, cyber-abuse, cyberbullying, and children's internet safety and responsible surfing issues;
Whereas Parry Aftab is the Executive Director of WiredSafety, an organization that provides help, information and education to Internet and mobile device users of all ages which operates StopCyberbullying.org;
Whereas Parry Aftab is the Executive Director of WiredKids, a United States charity dedicated to protecting all Internet users, especially children, from cybercrime and abuse, and to helping everyone learn how to protect their privacy and security online and to teach responsible Internet use;
Whereas Parry Aftab and WiredKids founded and direct the `Teenangels' and their younger counterpart `Tweenangels', a diverse group of youths ages 9-18 from all walks of life, from various backgrounds, religions, races, both male and female, who go out into their local communities and schools and teach others about Internet safety;
Whereas Teenangels receive months of extensive training from Parry Aftab and other cyber-safety experts, including the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and conduct extensive research on issues affecting Internet safety and responsible technology use by children;
Whereas following training, Teenangels are equipped to do presentations at their school, and other schools about Internet safety issues;
Whereas every Teenangels Chapter develops a `Top Ten Internet Safety Tip List' for use in presentations on software protections, safe surfing engines, interactive gaming, cyberbullying, and other online and computer concerns and a `Kids Internet Bill of Rights' that provides, among other things, that young people have the right to use the Internet without harassment, cyberbullying or sexual exploitation, without having their personal information misused, or being redirected to pornography when surfing for their favorite kid sites;
Whereas Marvel Enterprises (the home of Marvel comics) has donated an exclusive license for Dr. Aftab and Wired Kids to use their popular super heroes, such as Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, X-Men and Fantastic Four, in educating parents, schools and children about safe and responsible technology use, including InternetSuperHeroes.org's good cybercitizenship programs and custom comic books featuring Teenangels and Marvel's Spider-Man and other super hero characters; and
Whereas there are over 290 Teenangels worldwide, including chapters in California, New Jersey, New York, Wisconsin, Maryland, Washington, D.C., the United Kingdom, and Pakistan, promoting safe and responsible Internet use, and keeping themselves, their families, other youth, and their communities educated about Internet risks and the dangers of cyberbullying: Now, therefore, be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives--
(1) commends Dr. Parry Aftab of WiredSafety/WiredKids and the `Teenangels' and `Tweenangels' for their vision, innovation, commitment, dedication, and efforts to educating students, parents, and the public on the dangers of cyberbullying, and on positive alternatives to cyberbullying;
(2) supports `Teenangels' education and presentation model, which teaches students, teachers, and the community to avoid and combat cyberbullying, and to engage in safe online activities; and
(3) encourages every school district and community in the United States of America to establish `Teenangels' Chapters to educate students about Internet safety and the dangers of cyberbullying and empower their youth to become good cybercitizens.
HRES 296 IH
109th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. RES. 296
Recognizing the achievements and contributions of `Teenangels' and WiredSafety/WiredKids Executive Director Parry Aftab, in addressing the growing problem of cyberbullying in the United States.
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
May 24, 2005
Ms. LINDA T. SANCHEZ of California (for herself and Mr. GREEN of Wisconsin) submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Education and the Workforce, and in addition to the Committee on Energy and Commerce, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concerned
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RESOLUTION
Recognizing the achievements and contributions of `Teenangels' and WiredSafety/WiredKids Executive Director Parry Aftab, in addressing the growing problem of cyberbullying in the United States.
Whereas cyberbullying is defined as the transmission by one minor to another minor, through Web sites, instant messaging, camera phones, cell phones, Web blogs, or other electronic means, threats of physical harm, terrorist threats, comments meant to damage the reputation, embarrass, humiliate, insult, spread rumors, defame, or intimidate;
Whereas cyberbullying can cause psychological harm, negatively impact academic performance, safety, and the well-being of children in school, force children to change schools, and in some cases lead to murder or suicide;
Whereas given the anonymity of all electronic communications, children and adolescents' sometimes lack of impulse control and underdeveloped empathy skills, the potential for widespread public distribution, limited Internet responsible use education, and the inability to appreciate the harm caused by cyberbullying, such acts can be particularly dangerous and cruel to youths;
Whereas as WiredSafety.org and StopCyberbullying.org's studies have found that this problem affects all children from 9 years old to 14 years old, and often involves cyber-sexual harassment targeting students over 14 years of age; and their studies have shown that more than 85 percent of preteens have had their feelings hurt by someone else online, and a large percentage of preteens and teens have had their passwords or identities stolen, and an average of 60 percent of the middle school students polled admitted to being involved directly or indirectly in a cyberbullying incident (in some cases as high as 97 percent of students polled at certain schools admitted to being involved in a cyberbullying incident), and that more than 65 percent of teens polled have intentionally visited Web sites that made fun of their peers;
Whereas studies also show that parents, teachers, guidance counselors, students, and law enforcement agents are often ill-equipped to deal with cyberbullying or misunderstand it, thinking that it is merely offline bullying moved to cyberspace;
Whereas Parry Aftab is one of the world's leading experts on cybercrime, Internet privacy, cyber-abuse, cyberbullying, and children's internet safety and responsible surfing issues;
Whereas Parry Aftab is the Executive Director of WiredSafety, an organization that provides help, information and education to Internet and mobile device users of all ages which operates StopCyberbullying.org;
Whereas Parry Aftab is the Executive Director of WiredKids, a United States charity dedicated to protecting all Internet users, especially children, from cybercrime and abuse, and to helping everyone learn how to protect their privacy and security online and to teach responsible Internet use;
Whereas Parry Aftab and WiredKids founded and direct the `Teenangels' and their younger counterpart `Tweenangels', a diverse group of youths ages 9-18 from all walks of life, from various backgrounds, religions, races, both male and female, who go out into their local communities and schools and teach others about Internet safety;
Whereas Teenangels receive months of extensive training from Parry Aftab and other cyber-safety experts, including the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and conduct extensive research on issues affecting Internet safety and responsible technology use by children;
Whereas following training, Teenangels are equipped to do presentations at their school, and other schools about Internet safety issues;
Whereas every Teenangels Chapter develops a `Top Ten Internet Safety Tip List' for use in presentations on software protections, safe surfing engines, interactive gaming, cyberbullying, and other online and computer concerns and a `Kids Internet Bill of Rights' that provides, among other things, that young people have the right to use the Internet without harassment, cyberbullying or sexual exploitation, without having their personal information misused, or being redirected to pornography when surfing for their favorite kid sites;
Whereas Marvel Enterprises (the home of Marvel comics) has donated an exclusive license for Dr. Aftab and Wired Kids to use their popular super heroes, such as Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, X-Men and Fantastic Four, in educating parents, schools and children about safe and responsible technology use, including InternetSuperHeroes.org's good cybercitizenship programs and custom comic books featuring Teenangels and Marvel's Spider-Man and other super hero characters; and
Whereas there are over 290 Teenangels worldwide, including chapters in California, New Jersey, New York, Wisconsin, Maryland, Washington, D.C., the United Kingdom, and Pakistan, promoting safe and responsible Internet use, and keeping themselves, their families, other youth, and their communities educated about Internet risks and the dangers of cyberbullying: Now, therefore, be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives--
(1) commends Dr. Parry Aftab of WiredSafety/WiredKids and the `Teenangels' and `Tweenangels' for their vision, innovation, commitment, dedication, and efforts to educating students, parents, and the public on the dangers of cyberbullying, and on positive alternatives to cyberbullying;
(2) supports `Teenangels' education and presentation model, which teaches students, teachers, and the community to avoid and combat cyberbullying, and to engage in safe online activities; and
(3) encourages every school district and community in the United States of America to establish `Teenangels' Chapters to educate students about Internet safety and the dangers of cyberbullying and empower their youth to become good cybercitizens.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Myspace.com and safety: FOX 12 OREGON Mother outraged over MySpace.com
information about wiredsafety's new class for parents on myspace.com
Monday, August 22, 2005
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Monday, August 15, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Friday, August 05, 2005
Monday, August 01, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Westchester Cty Executive, Spano, addresses video game rating awareness with ESRB
Video ratings It's nice when two people and organizations you know join forces to do good things. Spano has been very active in helping keep his county's residents safer and better educated online. This is his latest venture into something that affects all families with preteens, gaming.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Monday, July 11, 2005
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Friday, July 08, 2005
Friday, July 01, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Friday, June 17, 2005
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
AOL and safe chat
I was recently asked by a journalist about AOL and safe chat. It was in connection with litigation. I explained that I could not comment on ongoing litigation and could speak about AOL's history as one of the safest services online for children.
We discussed that ISPs face more liability for taking on monitoring at all. And AOL is one of the few services that bothered to try and keep children safe within their channels. That's why time and time again WiredKids and WiredSafety have presented AOL with recognition and awards for their safety and security programs for children.
Unfortunately, when asked about their hiring and screening practices, I responded as a cyberspace lawyer, and explained that I did not know what they did. (Although I indicated that, knowing AOL, they probably would have taken proper precautions.) I then explained that any issue about employees isn't about safe chat, it was a legal issue of hiring practices. But when I was identified as both a lawyer and a child safety expert, the comment took on an implication that was unintended and untrue.
The comment, standing alone, made it appear that I was critical of AOL. I am not.
I think they are one of the few places where kids can chat safely online.
People who know me know that I am never shy about criticizing big companies. I do what I think is right for kids and a safer Internet. So, if I had been critical of AOL, I would have been quite clear about what I felt was wrong. But I wasn't. Not here.
I was clarifying the legal issue, as a lawyer. Explaining that the allegations, if proven in court, had nothing to do with safe chat.
When long interviews are taken, and shorter articles are written, many wish that the quotes used were different from the one actually used. We may wish that a different spin was taken. But much ends up on the editors' cuttingroom floor.
To be fair to AOL, I spoke at length about how good they are for kids.
They have clarified their hiring practices and screening practices. I have always had faith in them, that hasn't changed.
Parry
We discussed that ISPs face more liability for taking on monitoring at all. And AOL is one of the few services that bothered to try and keep children safe within their channels. That's why time and time again WiredKids and WiredSafety have presented AOL with recognition and awards for their safety and security programs for children.
Unfortunately, when asked about their hiring and screening practices, I responded as a cyberspace lawyer, and explained that I did not know what they did. (Although I indicated that, knowing AOL, they probably would have taken proper precautions.) I then explained that any issue about employees isn't about safe chat, it was a legal issue of hiring practices. But when I was identified as both a lawyer and a child safety expert, the comment took on an implication that was unintended and untrue.
The comment, standing alone, made it appear that I was critical of AOL. I am not.
I think they are one of the few places where kids can chat safely online.
People who know me know that I am never shy about criticizing big companies. I do what I think is right for kids and a safer Internet. So, if I had been critical of AOL, I would have been quite clear about what I felt was wrong. But I wasn't. Not here.
I was clarifying the legal issue, as a lawyer. Explaining that the allegations, if proven in court, had nothing to do with safe chat.
When long interviews are taken, and shorter articles are written, many wish that the quotes used were different from the one actually used. We may wish that a different spin was taken. But much ends up on the editors' cuttingroom floor.
To be fair to AOL, I spoke at length about how good they are for kids.
They have clarified their hiring practices and screening practices. I have always had faith in them, that hasn't changed.
Parry
Monday, April 18, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Saturday, January 22, 2005
When people are used by others to harass someone online - don't believe everything you read online.
Cyberharassment or Cyberbullying by Proxy
(or third party cyberharassment or cyberbullying)
Often people who misuse the Internet to target others do it using accomplices. These accomplices, unfortunately, are often unsuspecting. They know they are communicating irate or provocative messages, but don’t realize that they are being manipulated by the real cyberharasser or cyberbully. That’s the beauty of this type of scheme. The attacker merely prods the issue by creating indignation or emotion on the part of others, can sit back and let others do their dirty work. Then, when legal action or other punitive actions are taken against the accomplice, the real attacker can claim that they never instigated anything and no one was acting on their behalf. They claim innocence and blame their accomplices, unwitting or not. And their accomplices have no legal leg to stand on.
It’s brilliant and very powerful. It is also one of the most dangerous kinds of cyberharassment or cyberbullying. Children do this often using AOL or another ISP as their “proxy” or accomplice. When they engage in a “notify” or “warning” war, they are using this method to get the ISP to view the victim as the provocateur. A notify or warning war is when one child provokes another, until the victim lashes back. When they do, the real attacker clicks the warning or notify button on the text screen. This captures the communication and flags it for the ISP’s review. If the ISP finds that the communication violated their terms of service agreement (which most do) they may take action. Some accounts allow several warnings before formal action is taken. But the end result is the same. The ISP does the attacker’s dirty work when they close or suspend the real victim’s account for a terms of service violation. Most knowledgeable ISPs know this and are careful to see if the person being warned is really being set-up.
Sometimes children use the victim’s own parents as unwitting accomplices. They provoke the victim and when the victim lashes back, they save the communication and forward it to the parents of the victim. The parents often believe what they read, and without having evidence of the prior provocations, think that their own child “started it.”
This works just as easily in a school disciplinary environment.
Unfortunately, while many who work with children are aware of this tactic, few adults are. Online media is often used to do someone’s dirty work in a cyberharassment campaign, without realizing it. And many netizens are manipulated as well. When something may be true if it appears once online and becomes Gospel if it appears twice, where scams, fraud and con artists abound, thinking that they are anonymous or can’t be held accountable for their actions, where misinformation and hype thrives, this isn’t surprising. There is something about the typed word online to make people think it must be true if someone said it.
This creates problems for those being attacked by accomplices who think they understand the truth and think they are doing something right. Our advice has always been to ignore these things, and they will usually run their course. Media attention and public denials only feed the motives of the person behind the attacks. And are rarely heard or believed by the accomplices.
So, if something is believed if not denied, but denials only make it worse, how do people deal with these kinds of attacks? Usually, if anyone bothered to check things out, they would find out that any accusations aren’t true. This is especially effective when a second or third campaign attempts to build on the first. A statement may sound true. And in the short term may not be clearly untrue. But when enough time passes and the claims don’t pan out, most accomplices aren’t mislead a second or third time. It usually dies out faster. Rarely are members of the media caught on the second or third round. They have their reputations on the line. Good journalists don’t repeat unfounded rumors and usually understand that they are being used.
But there are always accomplices who have problems understanding that they are being used. Sometimes they have their own agendas. Public figures are very familiar with people who attack them for their own motives, either to get their fifteen minutes of fame or to get revenge, or in some cases for financial rewards. Some may be emotionally disturbed, or have problems with social communications. Some people are just mean and rude. And some are inordinately gullible. And the common sense that should filter their actions online may not be present.
These people may not understand that their attacks, if designed to hurt someone’s reputation may be defamatory and subject them to lawsuits and in some cases harassment charges. They may not understand that they can be tracked quite easily most of the time and held accountable for their actions. They may not understand that their actions, while they may believe they are noble and right, may be a terms of service violation and cost them their online accounts.
I often point to my articles for children teaching them what to believe and what to distrust online. Unfortunately, these gullible people or people with their own agendas don’t have the sense that many seven year olds do. They repeat rumors, and take action. And find themselves facing liability when the person who started it all hides behind them. They should know that repeating lies, even if you read them online, is no excuse under the law.
A caution to all who believe things without confirming their accuracy: Silence should not be confused with an admission of guilt or confirmation that a lie told by someone is true. Sometimes silence is smarter, especially when the real fight may not occur online at all. The smarter ones don’t fight their battles in the public online, not when defamation or harassment is involved.
Just a reminder to think before you click. Otherwise you have become what you say you are fighting. You have become a cyberharasser or cyberbully yourself. Don’t be used. Use your head.
(or third party cyberharassment or cyberbullying)
Often people who misuse the Internet to target others do it using accomplices. These accomplices, unfortunately, are often unsuspecting. They know they are communicating irate or provocative messages, but don’t realize that they are being manipulated by the real cyberharasser or cyberbully. That’s the beauty of this type of scheme. The attacker merely prods the issue by creating indignation or emotion on the part of others, can sit back and let others do their dirty work. Then, when legal action or other punitive actions are taken against the accomplice, the real attacker can claim that they never instigated anything and no one was acting on their behalf. They claim innocence and blame their accomplices, unwitting or not. And their accomplices have no legal leg to stand on.
It’s brilliant and very powerful. It is also one of the most dangerous kinds of cyberharassment or cyberbullying. Children do this often using AOL or another ISP as their “proxy” or accomplice. When they engage in a “notify” or “warning” war, they are using this method to get the ISP to view the victim as the provocateur. A notify or warning war is when one child provokes another, until the victim lashes back. When they do, the real attacker clicks the warning or notify button on the text screen. This captures the communication and flags it for the ISP’s review. If the ISP finds that the communication violated their terms of service agreement (which most do) they may take action. Some accounts allow several warnings before formal action is taken. But the end result is the same. The ISP does the attacker’s dirty work when they close or suspend the real victim’s account for a terms of service violation. Most knowledgeable ISPs know this and are careful to see if the person being warned is really being set-up.
Sometimes children use the victim’s own parents as unwitting accomplices. They provoke the victim and when the victim lashes back, they save the communication and forward it to the parents of the victim. The parents often believe what they read, and without having evidence of the prior provocations, think that their own child “started it.”
This works just as easily in a school disciplinary environment.
Unfortunately, while many who work with children are aware of this tactic, few adults are. Online media is often used to do someone’s dirty work in a cyberharassment campaign, without realizing it. And many netizens are manipulated as well. When something may be true if it appears once online and becomes Gospel if it appears twice, where scams, fraud and con artists abound, thinking that they are anonymous or can’t be held accountable for their actions, where misinformation and hype thrives, this isn’t surprising. There is something about the typed word online to make people think it must be true if someone said it.
This creates problems for those being attacked by accomplices who think they understand the truth and think they are doing something right. Our advice has always been to ignore these things, and they will usually run their course. Media attention and public denials only feed the motives of the person behind the attacks. And are rarely heard or believed by the accomplices.
So, if something is believed if not denied, but denials only make it worse, how do people deal with these kinds of attacks? Usually, if anyone bothered to check things out, they would find out that any accusations aren’t true. This is especially effective when a second or third campaign attempts to build on the first. A statement may sound true. And in the short term may not be clearly untrue. But when enough time passes and the claims don’t pan out, most accomplices aren’t mislead a second or third time. It usually dies out faster. Rarely are members of the media caught on the second or third round. They have their reputations on the line. Good journalists don’t repeat unfounded rumors and usually understand that they are being used.
But there are always accomplices who have problems understanding that they are being used. Sometimes they have their own agendas. Public figures are very familiar with people who attack them for their own motives, either to get their fifteen minutes of fame or to get revenge, or in some cases for financial rewards. Some may be emotionally disturbed, or have problems with social communications. Some people are just mean and rude. And some are inordinately gullible. And the common sense that should filter their actions online may not be present.
These people may not understand that their attacks, if designed to hurt someone’s reputation may be defamatory and subject them to lawsuits and in some cases harassment charges. They may not understand that they can be tracked quite easily most of the time and held accountable for their actions. They may not understand that their actions, while they may believe they are noble and right, may be a terms of service violation and cost them their online accounts.
I often point to my articles for children teaching them what to believe and what to distrust online. Unfortunately, these gullible people or people with their own agendas don’t have the sense that many seven year olds do. They repeat rumors, and take action. And find themselves facing liability when the person who started it all hides behind them. They should know that repeating lies, even if you read them online, is no excuse under the law.
A caution to all who believe things without confirming their accuracy: Silence should not be confused with an admission of guilt or confirmation that a lie told by someone is true. Sometimes silence is smarter, especially when the real fight may not occur online at all. The smarter ones don’t fight their battles in the public online, not when defamation or harassment is involved.
Just a reminder to think before you click. Otherwise you have become what you say you are fighting. You have become a cyberharasser or cyberbully yourself. Don’t be used. Use your head.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Sri Lankan and Thailand Orphanages and pedophiles
The above case included the following reference:
"The court based the upward departure on several
factors. First, the "she[e]r volume" of child
pornography involved in this case "was not * * *
adequately taken into consideration by the
Guidelines." Sent. Tr. 78; see also Judgment 6.02.
Second, petitioner "sexually molested numerous
children aside from the identified victim in this
case." Judgment 6.02; see also Sent. Tr. 78. Third,
petitioner "t[ook] advantage" of the Big Brothers
Program, the purpose of which is to help children in
need of male supervision, for "his own sexual
depravity"; by becoming a Big Brother, petitioner
"completely thwart[ed] the entire purpose of the
program, besmirch[ing] [its] image [and the image of]
other [such] programs." Sent. Tr. 78-79; see also
Judgment 6.02. Fourth, petitioner was involved in
NAMBLA (the North American Man Boy Love Association),
an organization that promotes sexual relations between
children and adults by supporting a foster home in
Thailand that sexually exploits children. Judgment
6.02; see also Sent. Tr. 77-79 (petitioner and known
pedophiles supported foster homes in Thailand in order
to have unlimited access to young boys, as evidenced
by a number of Polaroid pictures, provided by Thai
officials, depicting petitioner with young Thai boys
sitting on his lap). Fifth, petitioner's criminal
history category significantly underrepresented the
seriousness of his criminal history and the likelihood
that he would commit future crimes. Sent. Tr. 78-79;
Judgment 6.02. The court also found that petitioner
had failed to notify authorities of his change of residence,which he was required to do as a convicted sex offender. Sent. Tr. 78; Judgment 6.02."
"The court based the upward departure on several
factors. First, the "she[e]r volume" of child
pornography involved in this case "was not * * *
adequately taken into consideration by the
Guidelines." Sent. Tr. 78; see also Judgment 6.02.
Second, petitioner "sexually molested numerous
children aside from the identified victim in this
case." Judgment 6.02; see also Sent. Tr. 78. Third,
petitioner "t[ook] advantage" of the Big Brothers
Program, the purpose of which is to help children in
need of male supervision, for "his own sexual
depravity"; by becoming a Big Brother, petitioner
"completely thwart[ed] the entire purpose of the
program, besmirch[ing] [its] image [and the image of]
other [such] programs." Sent. Tr. 78-79; see also
Judgment 6.02. Fourth, petitioner was involved in
NAMBLA (the North American Man Boy Love Association),
an organization that promotes sexual relations between
children and adults by supporting a foster home in
Thailand that sexually exploits children. Judgment
6.02; see also Sent. Tr. 77-79 (petitioner and known
pedophiles supported foster homes in Thailand in order
to have unlimited access to young boys, as evidenced
by a number of Polaroid pictures, provided by Thai
officials, depicting petitioner with young Thai boys
sitting on his lap). Fifth, petitioner's criminal
history category significantly underrepresented the
seriousness of his criminal history and the likelihood
that he would commit future crimes. Sent. Tr. 78-79;
Judgment 6.02. The court also found that petitioner
had failed to notify authorities of his change of residence,which he was required to do as a convicted sex offender. Sent. Tr. 78; Judgment 6.02."
Pedophiles and Sri Lanka Orphanges - what the media has not yet learned
Welcome to the Vancouver Courier - On Line - News for years we have known that pedophile groups have owned and controlled orphanges in Thailand and Sri Lanka to make it easier to raise the children ot molest. Rather like child sex farms, there are the places or torture and sexual abuse, rape and death, with customers flooding in from the West on sex trade junkets. Our Innocence in Danger program, first established by UNESCO in 1999 will be working on overseeing the orphan issues and ways to keep the sexual preedator groups away from the Tsunami orphans.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Alarming case of a child predator -St. Paul Pioneer Press | 12/26/2004 | Sex offender phoned kids from jail
St. Paul Pioneer Press | 12/26/2004 | Sex offender phoned kids from jail his man, while in prison awaiting trial/sentencing, cut out pictures of young children from the newspaper and called their homes. It is not the first time that an Internet-related predator tried ot prey on children form prison. Little Christina Long's murderer tried ot meet another 13 year old by soliciting e-mails from kids from prison. Sad.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Cyberbullying...NJ.com
NJ.com: SearchAn article that shows how cyberbullying is impacting students in schools.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Saturday, November 06, 2004
for parents - about the MPAA and the upcoming lawsuits
While we are always unhappy to see anyone sued, especially young people, the MPAA has shown an incredible amount of restraint and patience in this matter. They have developed awareness messaging delivered in movie theaters, on television and in print media. They have educated universities and colleges about the piracy issues and have helped them create policies for acceptable use of institutional computer networks. They have delivered an extensive full-page advertisement awareness campaign “You Can Click But You Can’t Hide,” and have begun programs for in-school educational efforts on this important issue. And more will come. But without enforcement actions, unfortunately, education and awareness only go part of the way.
The MPAA has convinced me that they had no choice but add lawsuits to their arsenal of anti-piracy tactics. These lawsuits are a last resort and only a small part of the whole anti-piracy campaign. Sadly, without them, many young people who are stealing motion pictures before they even hit the movie theaters, will continue to steal movies thinking that they have nothing to lose. These law suits and other enforcement efforts will, hopefully, demonstrate that they have a lot to lose by breaking the law. As important as teaching our youth to surf safely and avoid online predators and harmful content is teaching them to be responsible cybercitizens.
Few were as vocal in opposition to the actions of the RIAA as I was. I felt that they had misused a legal loophole, which has since been closed with our help and the help of many privacy advocates and Internet service providers. I also understood the confusion over music downloads, where many young people couldn’t understand why they were not sued for recording music from radio broadcasts, but could be sued for downloading music from the Internet. I wrote a guide for parents and another for teens about downloading music online. I published an FAQ addressing the confusing issues. But movies are different.
I have consistently been vocal on an important distinction between the music piracy debate and motion picture piracy.
Working with thousands of young people, we learned that all of them knew that downloading a motion picture pre-theater release is wrong and is illegal. It feels wrong as well. They don’t readily admit to movie piracy and are often ashamed to admit that they have pirated movies. Notwithstanding the lawsuits and huge awareness campaigns delivered by the RIAA, many young Internet users either don’t understand the fine points of listening versus copying, or feel as though they should be allowed to share music online. To them it doesn’t yet feel wrong, and they are open about their music piracy practices. They seek ways of not getting caught, rather than curtailing their piracy activities.
While seeking input from some of my elite Teenangels (teenangels.org) for an article being written for Information Week magazine last year about youth movie piracy, I was shocked to learn that several of the young teens from this particular teenangels chapter admitted to downloading Harry Potter before it hit the movie theaters. Unlike their discussions about downloading music online, the teens wouldn’t meet my eyes. It didn’t take much to get them to agree never to pirate another movie. And, I suspect once we get them involved in delivering their own messages, we can turn this generation around, at least as to motion picture (and eventually software and game) piracy. And, like it or not, strategic law suits are a part of the incentive package needed to turnaround their movie piracy activities.
I earnestly hope that education and awareness will be effective enough that law suits won’t dominate this campaign to stop piracy. But as parents, we need to teach our children to be accountable for their actions. We need to teach them to do what’s right, not just what they can get away with. We need to encourage them to be good citizens, online and offline. Bottomline, it’s not about technology, or even lawsuits, it’s about parenting and helping guide our children to do what’s right.
The MPAA has convinced me that they had no choice but add lawsuits to their arsenal of anti-piracy tactics. These lawsuits are a last resort and only a small part of the whole anti-piracy campaign. Sadly, without them, many young people who are stealing motion pictures before they even hit the movie theaters, will continue to steal movies thinking that they have nothing to lose. These law suits and other enforcement efforts will, hopefully, demonstrate that they have a lot to lose by breaking the law. As important as teaching our youth to surf safely and avoid online predators and harmful content is teaching them to be responsible cybercitizens.
Few were as vocal in opposition to the actions of the RIAA as I was. I felt that they had misused a legal loophole, which has since been closed with our help and the help of many privacy advocates and Internet service providers. I also understood the confusion over music downloads, where many young people couldn’t understand why they were not sued for recording music from radio broadcasts, but could be sued for downloading music from the Internet. I wrote a guide for parents and another for teens about downloading music online. I published an FAQ addressing the confusing issues. But movies are different.
I have consistently been vocal on an important distinction between the music piracy debate and motion picture piracy.
Working with thousands of young people, we learned that all of them knew that downloading a motion picture pre-theater release is wrong and is illegal. It feels wrong as well. They don’t readily admit to movie piracy and are often ashamed to admit that they have pirated movies. Notwithstanding the lawsuits and huge awareness campaigns delivered by the RIAA, many young Internet users either don’t understand the fine points of listening versus copying, or feel as though they should be allowed to share music online. To them it doesn’t yet feel wrong, and they are open about their music piracy practices. They seek ways of not getting caught, rather than curtailing their piracy activities.
While seeking input from some of my elite Teenangels (teenangels.org) for an article being written for Information Week magazine last year about youth movie piracy, I was shocked to learn that several of the young teens from this particular teenangels chapter admitted to downloading Harry Potter before it hit the movie theaters. Unlike their discussions about downloading music online, the teens wouldn’t meet my eyes. It didn’t take much to get them to agree never to pirate another movie. And, I suspect once we get them involved in delivering their own messages, we can turn this generation around, at least as to motion picture (and eventually software and game) piracy. And, like it or not, strategic law suits are a part of the incentive package needed to turnaround their movie piracy activities.
I earnestly hope that education and awareness will be effective enough that law suits won’t dominate this campaign to stop piracy. But as parents, we need to teach our children to be accountable for their actions. We need to teach them to do what’s right, not just what they can get away with. We need to encourage them to be good citizens, online and offline. Bottomline, it’s not about technology, or even lawsuits, it’s about parenting and helping guide our children to do what’s right.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Movie Piracy, the MPAA and Teens
When Information Week ran an article about movie piracy in Fall 2003, I was interviewed as the expert on what kids were doing. I, in turn, asked my experts, my teenangels (Teenangels.org, note that teenangels.com is a porn site.) I had no idea, until then, how prevalent movie piracy was. We all know about the movie pirates selling DVDs on the corner in Chinatown and at flea markets. But few of us know about movie piracy, how it is done and where files of that size can be stored without crashing our systems. I was in that group.
I confidently asked a group of my Teenangels during one of their training sessions if they had ever heard of kids downloading movies online. All hands went up. I then asked them if any of them had ever downloaded a motion picture. That’s when I was stunned as several of my elite teens, trained by the FBI, decided to look out the window, under the table and into their laps. They looked everywhere but into my eyes. I sat down in shock. I was truly stunned.
It wasn’t the first time, and certainly won’t be the last time that my Teenangels have surprised me. But this was a new abuse issue that had gotten in under MY radar. That doesn’t happen often. But I was blindsided. The teens admitted to downloading the latest Harry Potter movie before it had even hit the movie theaters. And they didn’t have those shadowy, shot by a home video camera in the movie theater versions. They had studio prints, as good as the copy of that same movie we will be able to buy, years later.
After making them all swear that they would never ever ever ever do it again, I asked them how they did it. Most downloaded them on P2P networks, as they do music. They burn them to DVDs and store them on the enormous hard drives they all seem to have these days. And more importantly, they got them from their older brothers and sisters, cousins and friends in college.
So I went to our TeenAngels alumni, all of whom were not in college and asked them about the problem. They told me that many college kids are downloading and sharing motion pictures online. They have the new releases early enough to avoid having to pay the $10 and more per person to sit in a movie theater. And while many of the movies are shadowy in-theater shoots, many more are studio prints, director’s cuts and review copies.
They don’t have to resort to burning expensive DVDs, since the college servers are so enormous and most college students have access to large unallocated server space.
They also briefed me on the extensive efforts being expended by universities to stem piracy of music, movies and software. Acceptable use policies were rewritten warning them of the consequences of illegal downloads and media piracy. They were educated on copyright and other intellectual property issues. They had to sign agreements not to pirate or misuse media as a condition to being given access to the university networks. And some students were expelled when they violated those agreements.
All of this was the result of an educational and awareness campaign launched by the MPAA and the RIAA. But, apparently, it wasn’t terribly effective. When forced to choose between rising movie theater ticket prices and stealing a movie for your nearest and dearest 100 dorm-mates, from a college student’s perspective, there isn’t much of a choice.
The upcoming lawsuits might make a difference here. My informal polls of teens and college students shows me that many will stop pirating movies if they think they will be sued. The real problem we face is that most don’t think it will happen to them and play the odds.
So, we need to find a way to get the message across to them that the MPAA means business. They know what they are doing is illegal (see, “Movies are Different”). But it’s important that they know they could face the consequences of their actions. It’s time to get their attention.
But lawsuits alone are not the answer. The MPAA knows this and has delayed their lawsuits for many years in an attempt to educate young people. They see the lawsuits as an important, but small part of their overall campaign to stop movie piracy online.
They have several educational programs they have developed, including “You Can Click, But Your Can’t Hide.” They have delivered messages as trailers in movie theaters about the real people impacted by movie piracy. They sat back and watched as the RIAA used privacy-invading methods to force ISPs to turn over the identity of their subscribers.
It’s a great start. But we need to do more to get the kids involved. We need to get them to internalize the message of responsible technology use and respecting intellectual property rights. We need to capture their attention before they get to college and while movie piracy is still an exception not the rule. We need to use methods to get them involved in the solution, instead of only threatening them with the results. Carrots, not just sticks, need to be included in the package.
I have proposed a campaign for children, teens and college students to deliver their own anti-piracy messages in video format. After delivering our intellectual property education, they would find the message that resonates with them and their friends. (We have learned that finding the right message on anti-piracy is like ordering from a Chinese restaurant, one form column A and two from column B. No one message speaks to all kids.) Large competitions could be judged by the motion picture studios and the winning videographers could be invited to Hollywood and their videos featured as trailers on upcoming DVDs. Electronic manufacturers and retailers, video rental outlets, and the motion picture industry unions can all get involved in the campaign. We need to make it as “kewl” to stop piracy as it is to pirate a new movie. If we reward them for their creativity, they will be more likely to respect the creativity of others.
I just ran a program for a small private school in New York, after returning from a larger event with hundreds of 4th graders in Wichita, Kansas. Both groups were appalled that their older counterparts were stealing movies online. One 10 year old even lectured me on the large damages that could be recovered in a lawsuit. (He was close. He said they could recover $250,000, but the real amount for a willful piracy of a movie is $150,000. As you may have guessed already, this boy was from New York. )
We need to get to the kids while they are young and still believe in right and wrong. We need them to remind each other of their ethical obligation as cybercitizens not to abuse the power of the technology. There’s still time to stop movie piracy and teach young people and adults alike that we should be responsible in our technology use. We should all learn to obey the law even when we think we can get away with breaking it. And our children need to be taught this as soon as possible and take this with them as they grow into, hopefully, responsible adults.
That’s the real challenge. And the MPAA should be supporting efforts like Peers2Peers.org and InternetSuperheroes.org, that get kids involved in creating and delivering their own messages of responsible intellectual property use.
There’s more to anti-piracy than lawsuits. And unless we do something about this soon, the motion picture industry and this generation of our kids will be lost. We need to get the kids on board. And if we catch them young enough, we can.
I confidently asked a group of my Teenangels during one of their training sessions if they had ever heard of kids downloading movies online. All hands went up. I then asked them if any of them had ever downloaded a motion picture. That’s when I was stunned as several of my elite teens, trained by the FBI, decided to look out the window, under the table and into their laps. They looked everywhere but into my eyes. I sat down in shock. I was truly stunned.
It wasn’t the first time, and certainly won’t be the last time that my Teenangels have surprised me. But this was a new abuse issue that had gotten in under MY radar. That doesn’t happen often. But I was blindsided. The teens admitted to downloading the latest Harry Potter movie before it had even hit the movie theaters. And they didn’t have those shadowy, shot by a home video camera in the movie theater versions. They had studio prints, as good as the copy of that same movie we will be able to buy, years later.
After making them all swear that they would never ever ever ever do it again, I asked them how they did it. Most downloaded them on P2P networks, as they do music. They burn them to DVDs and store them on the enormous hard drives they all seem to have these days. And more importantly, they got them from their older brothers and sisters, cousins and friends in college.
So I went to our TeenAngels alumni, all of whom were not in college and asked them about the problem. They told me that many college kids are downloading and sharing motion pictures online. They have the new releases early enough to avoid having to pay the $10 and more per person to sit in a movie theater. And while many of the movies are shadowy in-theater shoots, many more are studio prints, director’s cuts and review copies.
They don’t have to resort to burning expensive DVDs, since the college servers are so enormous and most college students have access to large unallocated server space.
They also briefed me on the extensive efforts being expended by universities to stem piracy of music, movies and software. Acceptable use policies were rewritten warning them of the consequences of illegal downloads and media piracy. They were educated on copyright and other intellectual property issues. They had to sign agreements not to pirate or misuse media as a condition to being given access to the university networks. And some students were expelled when they violated those agreements.
All of this was the result of an educational and awareness campaign launched by the MPAA and the RIAA. But, apparently, it wasn’t terribly effective. When forced to choose between rising movie theater ticket prices and stealing a movie for your nearest and dearest 100 dorm-mates, from a college student’s perspective, there isn’t much of a choice.
The upcoming lawsuits might make a difference here. My informal polls of teens and college students shows me that many will stop pirating movies if they think they will be sued. The real problem we face is that most don’t think it will happen to them and play the odds.
So, we need to find a way to get the message across to them that the MPAA means business. They know what they are doing is illegal (see, “Movies are Different”). But it’s important that they know they could face the consequences of their actions. It’s time to get their attention.
But lawsuits alone are not the answer. The MPAA knows this and has delayed their lawsuits for many years in an attempt to educate young people. They see the lawsuits as an important, but small part of their overall campaign to stop movie piracy online.
They have several educational programs they have developed, including “You Can Click, But Your Can’t Hide.” They have delivered messages as trailers in movie theaters about the real people impacted by movie piracy. They sat back and watched as the RIAA used privacy-invading methods to force ISPs to turn over the identity of their subscribers.
It’s a great start. But we need to do more to get the kids involved. We need to get them to internalize the message of responsible technology use and respecting intellectual property rights. We need to capture their attention before they get to college and while movie piracy is still an exception not the rule. We need to use methods to get them involved in the solution, instead of only threatening them with the results. Carrots, not just sticks, need to be included in the package.
I have proposed a campaign for children, teens and college students to deliver their own anti-piracy messages in video format. After delivering our intellectual property education, they would find the message that resonates with them and their friends. (We have learned that finding the right message on anti-piracy is like ordering from a Chinese restaurant, one form column A and two from column B. No one message speaks to all kids.) Large competitions could be judged by the motion picture studios and the winning videographers could be invited to Hollywood and their videos featured as trailers on upcoming DVDs. Electronic manufacturers and retailers, video rental outlets, and the motion picture industry unions can all get involved in the campaign. We need to make it as “kewl” to stop piracy as it is to pirate a new movie. If we reward them for their creativity, they will be more likely to respect the creativity of others.
I just ran a program for a small private school in New York, after returning from a larger event with hundreds of 4th graders in Wichita, Kansas. Both groups were appalled that their older counterparts were stealing movies online. One 10 year old even lectured me on the large damages that could be recovered in a lawsuit. (He was close. He said they could recover $250,000, but the real amount for a willful piracy of a movie is $150,000. As you may have guessed already, this boy was from New York. )
We need to get to the kids while they are young and still believe in right and wrong. We need them to remind each other of their ethical obligation as cybercitizens not to abuse the power of the technology. There’s still time to stop movie piracy and teach young people and adults alike that we should be responsible in our technology use. We should all learn to obey the law even when we think we can get away with breaking it. And our children need to be taught this as soon as possible and take this with them as they grow into, hopefully, responsible adults.
That’s the real challenge. And the MPAA should be supporting efforts like Peers2Peers.org and InternetSuperheroes.org, that get kids involved in creating and delivering their own messages of responsible intellectual property use.
There’s more to anti-piracy than lawsuits. And unless we do something about this soon, the motion picture industry and this generation of our kids will be lost. We need to get the kids on board. And if we catch them young enough, we can.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Kan-Ed Live!
Kan-Ed Live!Interested in seeing one of my programs online? This program was done for the South Central Kansas Library System on October 2004, on risk management and libariries. It also includes an appearance of Spider-Man with the 9 year olds.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
the saga and how it ended...
I had it, and finally demanded to speak with the resident manager of the Westbury Hotel, Tim. He claimed that there was nothing he could do and insisted that any recourse I had would have to be with Luxurylink.com.
That afternoon, I decided to nap and put a do not disturb sign on my door. I hear a ring and the door was immediately opened by a housekeeper who semed surpirsed ot find me there. I checked and made sure the do not disturb sign was on the door, facing the right way. It was. I asked the housekeeper why she came in anyway, and she shrugged. I called housekeeping and Tim. He defended her, explaining that many people leave the DND sign on their door by mistake and then complain that their room wasn't cleaned. No wonder this hotel is a mess. The management is utterly out of touch. I suggested that if anyone is worried that a dnd sign is on by mistake, that someone in housekeeping should call instead of ignoring the sign. Why I should be trying to teach him how to manage a hotel is beyond me. :-( But someone should.
He called Luxurylink again, and informed me that the purchase was non-refundable. He offered to give me a visit at the hotel again, on him. Even free, I wouldn't stay there again. I insisted that he do something. So he asked luxurylink to call me. They were incredible. They were also embarassed with what had gone on. Eventually, they agreed to refund a portion of the purchase price themselves to accomodate me. Tim offered to credit me for the Internet access and offered me a car to the airport.
I couldn't wait to check out, a day early, and took him up on the offer. I thought he should have done more, but, as I said I was thrilled to get out of there.
I got into the car, a limousine that had seen its better years long ago. It smelled of fuel, but the window doesn't work. Then a piece of the separator between the driver and the passenger fell off entirely. I was getting used to this by now. Until the driver hit someone from behind and shrugged when the other driver got ot and started shouting. The driver took me to American Airlines, instead of Virgin. Then went to the wrong Virgin adn finally gave up, on the fifth go round at the airport, pointing to the general direction of the terminal and telling me to find it myself.
a fitting ending...
is there a blog where people can share nightmares for traveling, and warn others off of hotels and management who don't care? If there is, let me know. If not, maybe we should start one.
back home, happily.
Parry
That afternoon, I decided to nap and put a do not disturb sign on my door. I hear a ring and the door was immediately opened by a housekeeper who semed surpirsed ot find me there. I checked and made sure the do not disturb sign was on the door, facing the right way. It was. I asked the housekeeper why she came in anyway, and she shrugged. I called housekeeping and Tim. He defended her, explaining that many people leave the DND sign on their door by mistake and then complain that their room wasn't cleaned. No wonder this hotel is a mess. The management is utterly out of touch. I suggested that if anyone is worried that a dnd sign is on by mistake, that someone in housekeeping should call instead of ignoring the sign. Why I should be trying to teach him how to manage a hotel is beyond me. :-( But someone should.
He called Luxurylink again, and informed me that the purchase was non-refundable. He offered to give me a visit at the hotel again, on him. Even free, I wouldn't stay there again. I insisted that he do something. So he asked luxurylink to call me. They were incredible. They were also embarassed with what had gone on. Eventually, they agreed to refund a portion of the purchase price themselves to accomodate me. Tim offered to credit me for the Internet access and offered me a car to the airport.
I couldn't wait to check out, a day early, and took him up on the offer. I thought he should have done more, but, as I said I was thrilled to get out of there.
I got into the car, a limousine that had seen its better years long ago. It smelled of fuel, but the window doesn't work. Then a piece of the separator between the driver and the passenger fell off entirely. I was getting used to this by now. Until the driver hit someone from behind and shrugged when the other driver got ot and started shouting. The driver took me to American Airlines, instead of Virgin. Then went to the wrong Virgin adn finally gave up, on the fifth go round at the airport, pointing to the general direction of the terminal and telling me to find it myself.
a fitting ending...
is there a blog where people can share nightmares for traveling, and warn others off of hotels and management who don't care? If there is, let me know. If not, maybe we should start one.
back home, happily.
Parry
Thursday, October 14, 2004
The Westbury Hotel saga, part 2 - insulting my guests
tonight I had dinner plans with someone from Microsoft UK at my hotel - the now blogged infamous Westbury Hotel. She visited their website and was told that the hotel is on Bond/New Bond streets. (In fact it faces Conduit Street, not Bond/New Bond) She circled a few times, and finally found the hotel, arriving twenty minutes late.
When she approached the concierge in the lobby to inquire about me, she was directed to the lounge where we were waiting. When she mentioned the website was wrong about the address, accfording to her, he looked at her in a condescending manner and said "Everyone knows where the Westbury Hotel is...we are very famous" implying that she was obviously not well-informed (or not sufficiently sophisticated enough) if she didn't know the hotel and its location.
she was very unhappy. So was I when I heard. any pleasure in the concierge's directing her to me in the lounge (I had asked him to, if she arrived) was outweighed by her discomfort as my guest.
I will be checking out early. I've had enough.
my 2 cents.
Parry
When she approached the concierge in the lobby to inquire about me, she was directed to the lounge where we were waiting. When she mentioned the website was wrong about the address, accfording to her, he looked at her in a condescending manner and said "Everyone knows where the Westbury Hotel is...we are very famous" implying that she was obviously not well-informed (or not sufficiently sophisticated enough) if she didn't know the hotel and its location.
she was very unhappy. So was I when I heard. any pleasure in the concierge's directing her to me in the lounge (I had asked him to, if she arrived) was outweighed by her discomfort as my guest.
I will be checking out early. I've had enough.
my 2 cents.
Parry
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The Westbury Hotel-Mayfair, London - the hotel that can't get out of its own way
I often write about my travels. I book them online and take them for business.
I frequent luxurylink.com and am a big fan of theirs. The trips are often very underpriced and additional perks, such as massages, are included at prices I could never book even without those perks.
I buy the trips when they come up at special prices and wait until I need them. I buy them for Rome, Seattle, London and San Francisco, since I am often there and can always use them.
I have had great results, by and large. They carefully screen the hotels and usually only the best ones are available at luxurylink.com. I have had two disaters, though. One in Rome and one as we speak, in London.
I am staying at The Westbury Hotel in London and wish I weren't. I had stayed here once before when I did my UK book tour in Spring 2000. I loved it then. The food was outstanding, the service even better. They even had my favorite shoe store in the world right across the street and the store where I buy my underwear down the block. (You know that you travel too often when you buy staples in other countries. I buy my eye glasses in Singapore, too,)
I should have known this was a problem. I bought the trip at auction (and was the only bidder). It wasn't cheap, but for what I got, it saved me money. It also included a studio suite at the price I would have booked an ordinary room in London in this neighborhood (Bond Street and Conduit).
I e-mailed them with the date requests right after buying the trip. (I bought this just for an upcoming trip I had to make for a presentation at Parliament on online safety.)
I needed to hear back right away. But no one bothered to e-mail me back.
I followed up with a second e-mail, again to the person Luxurylink.com told me to contact to set up the reservations. Still no answer. I contacted luxurylink.com and was told to call and not e-mail.
I found out the Westbury Hotel contact person was on maternity leave and they had "so many e-mails from people wanting reservations they put them aside until they could get to them" I couldn't believe my ears. I almost laughed. Almost is the operative word here.
They promised me a call back. You can guess what happened, or better yet, what didn't happen. Finally, on my next call, insisting on speaking to someone in management (this became a common activity on my part, they are now all on a first name basis with me) they confirmed my room. I went over the class of room included in the package with them. They booked it as a deluxe room, not a studio suite. I reminded them twice more.
I changed my travel dates, moving them up by one day, and found out I still wasn't in a studio suite (whatever that is anyway). Each call ended in a promise to do better next time. I was starting to feel like a mother of a nine year old.
I would have made alterative plans but had prepaid the trip and was now too close to the travel dates to rebook without confusing everything else.
I arrived at check-in time. I was taken to a "studio suite" that was dark and didn't have the promised view of Bond Street. (I frankly could care less, but wanted something that didn't look out at a wall of another building a few feet away. :-() They then offered me another room they claim was a suite, with a bed and a small sitting area at the foot of the bed. I complained, and I was told I could upgrade to a larger suite for 500 pounds a night more (about $900 at today's exchange rates). When I stopped laughing, I marched down to meet the duty manager. A nice guy who didn't really want to hear the history of the world and the Westbury Hotel screw ups, I am sure. But he listened, parked me in the lounge with a hot pot of tea while he checked out other "studio suites." I assumed things were looking up, finally. I also showed him their posting at luxurylink.com and what my package included. He seemed shocked.
He found me a lovely little suite, apologized that it didn't face Bond Street, and I settled in. I had ot call and remind them about the additional little things included in my package, each coming as an apparent surprise to them. :-(
I tried to log into the broadband service and once again had problems. This time when I tried to sign up for service, the service told me that I wasn't checked into my room. While sitting there in my room, I had problems understanding how I could have gotten a key without being checked in. I called down to the front desk. Whomever answered had no idea what I was talking about. She insisted I needed a tech engineer to fix my laptop's settings (they were, of course, fine). I had e-mails backed up relating to my schedule and needed access. it took about 1/2 hour before I was able to get service, after the duty officer rebooted the server (they said). But the service required that I reclick on IE whenever it wanted to check e-mail using outlook, and confirm every time I wanted to surf to a new page. all at the bargain price of more than $23 per 24 hour period of access. :-(
But, heck, I had high speed access, so I should't complain. I also had a US ethernet adapter on my desk.
And, to be honest, they weren't the only good things.
The food was great, consistently. But service at breakfast was a problem. Still, the food was good and the hotel lovely, especially the public rooms. A porter named Alfie, 17-1/2 years old and learning Spanish and German, was one of the nicest and most able porters I have eve encountered, so there is hope for this place.
I dropped back to the hotel after a morning at Parliament planning tomorrow's event and giving some interviews. I wanted to rest and take a hot bath. But when I got ready to run the water, I found lots of hairs (not mine) in the tub. That's when I lost it...
I will be checking out a day early, even though I prepaid for five nights. Even though it will cost me to change my flight. Even though I have things to do in town. I would have left even earlier if I could have.
Some times you need to just cut your losses and know when to give up.
so, if you are visiting England, drop by luxurylink.com and bid on the lygon arms hotel (lygonarms.com) for a wonderful restful time in front of a huge walk-in fireplace with food to die for and a spa attached. And stear clear of The Westbury...Please! But if you are a hotel owner and looking for an incredible porter, and manager-in-training candidate, look up Alfie. He's the only reason I stayed this long.
just my 2 cents.
Parry
I frequent luxurylink.com and am a big fan of theirs. The trips are often very underpriced and additional perks, such as massages, are included at prices I could never book even without those perks.
I buy the trips when they come up at special prices and wait until I need them. I buy them for Rome, Seattle, London and San Francisco, since I am often there and can always use them.
I have had great results, by and large. They carefully screen the hotels and usually only the best ones are available at luxurylink.com. I have had two disaters, though. One in Rome and one as we speak, in London.
I am staying at The Westbury Hotel in London and wish I weren't. I had stayed here once before when I did my UK book tour in Spring 2000. I loved it then. The food was outstanding, the service even better. They even had my favorite shoe store in the world right across the street and the store where I buy my underwear down the block. (You know that you travel too often when you buy staples in other countries. I buy my eye glasses in Singapore, too,)
I should have known this was a problem. I bought the trip at auction (and was the only bidder). It wasn't cheap, but for what I got, it saved me money. It also included a studio suite at the price I would have booked an ordinary room in London in this neighborhood (Bond Street and Conduit).
I e-mailed them with the date requests right after buying the trip. (I bought this just for an upcoming trip I had to make for a presentation at Parliament on online safety.)
I needed to hear back right away. But no one bothered to e-mail me back.
I followed up with a second e-mail, again to the person Luxurylink.com told me to contact to set up the reservations. Still no answer. I contacted luxurylink.com and was told to call and not e-mail.
I found out the Westbury Hotel contact person was on maternity leave and they had "so many e-mails from people wanting reservations they put them aside until they could get to them" I couldn't believe my ears. I almost laughed. Almost is the operative word here.
They promised me a call back. You can guess what happened, or better yet, what didn't happen. Finally, on my next call, insisting on speaking to someone in management (this became a common activity on my part, they are now all on a first name basis with me) they confirmed my room. I went over the class of room included in the package with them. They booked it as a deluxe room, not a studio suite. I reminded them twice more.
I changed my travel dates, moving them up by one day, and found out I still wasn't in a studio suite (whatever that is anyway). Each call ended in a promise to do better next time. I was starting to feel like a mother of a nine year old.
I would have made alterative plans but had prepaid the trip and was now too close to the travel dates to rebook without confusing everything else.
I arrived at check-in time. I was taken to a "studio suite" that was dark and didn't have the promised view of Bond Street. (I frankly could care less, but wanted something that didn't look out at a wall of another building a few feet away. :-() They then offered me another room they claim was a suite, with a bed and a small sitting area at the foot of the bed. I complained, and I was told I could upgrade to a larger suite for 500 pounds a night more (about $900 at today's exchange rates). When I stopped laughing, I marched down to meet the duty manager. A nice guy who didn't really want to hear the history of the world and the Westbury Hotel screw ups, I am sure. But he listened, parked me in the lounge with a hot pot of tea while he checked out other "studio suites." I assumed things were looking up, finally. I also showed him their posting at luxurylink.com and what my package included. He seemed shocked.
He found me a lovely little suite, apologized that it didn't face Bond Street, and I settled in. I had ot call and remind them about the additional little things included in my package, each coming as an apparent surprise to them. :-(
I tried to log into the broadband service and once again had problems. This time when I tried to sign up for service, the service told me that I wasn't checked into my room. While sitting there in my room, I had problems understanding how I could have gotten a key without being checked in. I called down to the front desk. Whomever answered had no idea what I was talking about. She insisted I needed a tech engineer to fix my laptop's settings (they were, of course, fine). I had e-mails backed up relating to my schedule and needed access. it took about 1/2 hour before I was able to get service, after the duty officer rebooted the server (they said). But the service required that I reclick on IE whenever it wanted to check e-mail using outlook, and confirm every time I wanted to surf to a new page. all at the bargain price of more than $23 per 24 hour period of access. :-(
But, heck, I had high speed access, so I should't complain. I also had a US ethernet adapter on my desk.
And, to be honest, they weren't the only good things.
The food was great, consistently. But service at breakfast was a problem. Still, the food was good and the hotel lovely, especially the public rooms. A porter named Alfie, 17-1/2 years old and learning Spanish and German, was one of the nicest and most able porters I have eve encountered, so there is hope for this place.
I dropped back to the hotel after a morning at Parliament planning tomorrow's event and giving some interviews. I wanted to rest and take a hot bath. But when I got ready to run the water, I found lots of hairs (not mine) in the tub. That's when I lost it...
I will be checking out a day early, even though I prepaid for five nights. Even though it will cost me to change my flight. Even though I have things to do in town. I would have left even earlier if I could have.
Some times you need to just cut your losses and know when to give up.
so, if you are visiting England, drop by luxurylink.com and bid on the lygon arms hotel (lygonarms.com) for a wonderful restful time in front of a huge walk-in fireplace with food to die for and a spa attached. And stear clear of The Westbury...Please! But if you are a hotel owner and looking for an incredible porter, and manager-in-training candidate, look up Alfie. He's the only reason I stayed this long.
just my 2 cents.
Parry
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Lygon Arms, lygonarms.com -A place away from everything and connected too :-)
I am posting this from a little hotel (a very famous one) in Broadway, England. It's in the Cotswolds and once hosted Oliver Cromwell and others famous throughout UK history. It has fireplaces in most major rooms, large enough to walk into, and incredible food and most of all, incredible people who work here. (Lygon Arms, pronounced "liggon arms" and lygonarms.com)
I have Internet access from their business office (a tiny room, with a single desk, printer and computer, and LAN access without charge) overlooking a tiny cobblestone courtyard.
I found this place in my reading about incredible historical hotels and inns in England over the years. I found a wonderful rate at luxurylink.com which included a package of room (a suite with three separate rooms), spa treatments and meals.
I arrived last night, late from my US flight (it's a long drive from Heathrow to here, about 1-1/2 hours by car). I was exhausted and needed a strong cup of tea.
The night porter (Stephen, who used to be a cabinet maker locally) managed to get me a pot of hot english breakfast tea, and a plate of wonderful sandwiches, notwithstanding the late hour (about midnight).
Parked in front of this unbelievable fireplace, in a stuffed wing chair, surrounded by antiques and in a building built about 500 years ago, I started to unwind.
Today I wandered down High Street (the only main street in town) past the most amazing stone-fronted cottages, in a world that looks like a Hollywood movie lot, but better. Flowers, trees, iron works and antiques abound.
Late morning I sat before another fire and met a retired teacher and banker out for a quiet day from Liverpool. We talked about children and fate. I finished another pot of tea, and while gazing into the fire, unwound a bit more.
Then, while getting ready to leave and wander around again, I met an American family stationed in London out for a day's drive. Wonderful children, a wonderful family and another pot of tea.
I then finally got out and walked into this tiny bookshop. The owner helped me find historical fiction he knew I would enjoy. We talked about books and life in a tiny town in perfectdom, England. We talked about the politics of book publishing, and another person in the shop joined the conversation and recommended some other books. I pulled the latest novel by the Princess of Kent out of my purse that wasn't available here yet, and we passed it around.
I dropped by the spa once more and brought one of my new books, and sat quietly in the jacuzzi. I then sat in the diningroom before (you guessed it!) another huge fireplace and crackling fire, to one of the most amazing meals of my life. The waitress (I cannot remember her name, but she is from France) decided that she could help me enjoy their chocolates and still stay on South Beach Diet, and managed ot do just that. At her suggestion (not with much prompting)I took my tea in another room before a different fire. (I was becoming quite an expert on fires :-)) Karen, the head housekeeper sat and kept me company, and brought me a second pot of tea when mine got cold.
I am sharing this all with you for no good reason other than because it was great to be unconnected for a few hours, with a mobile phone that only works if you stand under an old tree in the courtyard. :-) And how the Internet helped me find this wonderful place and a way to unwind before the Parliamentary event in a few days, and my return to London when the world starts once more. And how wonderful people are everywhere, especially in this tiny postcard size village where time stood still and caring and kindness still matters.
Amen!
Parry
lygonarms.com
I have Internet access from their business office (a tiny room, with a single desk, printer and computer, and LAN access without charge) overlooking a tiny cobblestone courtyard.
I found this place in my reading about incredible historical hotels and inns in England over the years. I found a wonderful rate at luxurylink.com which included a package of room (a suite with three separate rooms), spa treatments and meals.
I arrived last night, late from my US flight (it's a long drive from Heathrow to here, about 1-1/2 hours by car). I was exhausted and needed a strong cup of tea.
The night porter (Stephen, who used to be a cabinet maker locally) managed to get me a pot of hot english breakfast tea, and a plate of wonderful sandwiches, notwithstanding the late hour (about midnight).
Parked in front of this unbelievable fireplace, in a stuffed wing chair, surrounded by antiques and in a building built about 500 years ago, I started to unwind.
Today I wandered down High Street (the only main street in town) past the most amazing stone-fronted cottages, in a world that looks like a Hollywood movie lot, but better. Flowers, trees, iron works and antiques abound.
Late morning I sat before another fire and met a retired teacher and banker out for a quiet day from Liverpool. We talked about children and fate. I finished another pot of tea, and while gazing into the fire, unwound a bit more.
Then, while getting ready to leave and wander around again, I met an American family stationed in London out for a day's drive. Wonderful children, a wonderful family and another pot of tea.
I then finally got out and walked into this tiny bookshop. The owner helped me find historical fiction he knew I would enjoy. We talked about books and life in a tiny town in perfectdom, England. We talked about the politics of book publishing, and another person in the shop joined the conversation and recommended some other books. I pulled the latest novel by the Princess of Kent out of my purse that wasn't available here yet, and we passed it around.
I dropped by the spa once more and brought one of my new books, and sat quietly in the jacuzzi. I then sat in the diningroom before (you guessed it!) another huge fireplace and crackling fire, to one of the most amazing meals of my life. The waitress (I cannot remember her name, but she is from France) decided that she could help me enjoy their chocolates and still stay on South Beach Diet, and managed ot do just that. At her suggestion (not with much prompting)I took my tea in another room before a different fire. (I was becoming quite an expert on fires :-)) Karen, the head housekeeper sat and kept me company, and brought me a second pot of tea when mine got cold.
I am sharing this all with you for no good reason other than because it was great to be unconnected for a few hours, with a mobile phone that only works if you stand under an old tree in the courtyard. :-) And how the Internet helped me find this wonderful place and a way to unwind before the Parliamentary event in a few days, and my return to London when the world starts once more. And how wonderful people are everywhere, especially in this tiny postcard size village where time stood still and caring and kindness still matters.
Amen!
Parry
lygonarms.com
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Blogs and the good old days online
Although I am considered by some as one of the early Internet policy experts and an early adopted of the power of the Net to create and empower large groups of people (especially volunteers), I was actually very late to the Net. I only began using it in 1993, and started using AOL before I even knew the other technologies existed.
In 1994-5 I began running the legal discussions boards at AOL. I was an unapid volunteer, but did it becasue as a board host, I received AOL without charge. (It cost by the minute then.)I had board editing tools, where I could add new discussion boards, delete and edit others' posts, pretty much do what I wanted. It was a blast. I could start a special discussion and promote others. I was able to leave my mark on what we were doing, and it worked. Our area became very popular, and eventually Court TV cam to me and asked me to replicate this for them, which is how the Court TV Law Center was formed. We were all unapid volunteers and early pioneers of providing professional information to consumers without charge as a public and Internet service. It was was the net was born. People helping each other, sharing what they know and can do...it was fun and exciting.
Then I became mainstream. The media started following our discussions and judges would cite to our posts in their decisions. The law journals were all over whatever we did. But the more mainstream I became, the more I lost touch with the fun part of the Internet, everyone else.
I began Internet safety volunteer groups and ran them entirely online. But posting was work, not fun. And I spent time online because I had to, not because I wanted to. Instead of devoting time to jokes and learning about others, I was fielding hundreds and sometimes thousands of daily e-mails from people who wanted my advice, wanted to share their thoughts with me, wanted my help.
I knew about blogs, which harkened back to the good old days when I began using the Net and AOL. But dismissed them. "Who had time for blogging?" I wondered. Eugene Volokh, now well known in teh bloggin circles, was one fo those who hung out together with me in lawyers-only networks. We would chat about law, love and policy. Movies, music and infidelity. Being able to discourse with so many bright and well-informed people (even if they all were lawyers :-)) was so much fun.
I couldn't get enough. When in Moscow, in my now former husband's inner office, I unplugged a red phone to the Kremlin to use the special phone access to reach Counsel Connect and send posts from there. I understand Yeltsin's staff got a busy signal one time, and I denied knowing why :-).
It's truly sad when I look at 1993 and see it as the good old days. But much as changed. Now, instead of posting on AOL, I am interviewed on the Today Show or by the New York Times or People Magazine. And my e-mail responses are as short as possible to conserve my typing energy. (Everyone who reads this blog knows I cannot type or spell :-))
After a conference in June, 2004 I decided it was time to start blogging. It didn't take long for my blog to get noticed. (It doesn't hurt that I am a columnist for Informationweek.com :-)) I also became the subect of a cybersmear campaign that passed lies which were, unfortunately, picked up by bloggers thinking they were being given the truth. But, that's the nature of the Net. Good, bad, truth, lies, it's all about sharing our thoughts and ideas and opinions.
I am starting to enjoy this. It brings me back to the good old days.
I still can't type, or spell, but I am having lots more fun while doing it. :-)
Parry
In 1994-5 I began running the legal discussions boards at AOL. I was an unapid volunteer, but did it becasue as a board host, I received AOL without charge. (It cost by the minute then.)I had board editing tools, where I could add new discussion boards, delete and edit others' posts, pretty much do what I wanted. It was a blast. I could start a special discussion and promote others. I was able to leave my mark on what we were doing, and it worked. Our area became very popular, and eventually Court TV cam to me and asked me to replicate this for them, which is how the Court TV Law Center was formed. We were all unapid volunteers and early pioneers of providing professional information to consumers without charge as a public and Internet service. It was was the net was born. People helping each other, sharing what they know and can do...it was fun and exciting.
Then I became mainstream. The media started following our discussions and judges would cite to our posts in their decisions. The law journals were all over whatever we did. But the more mainstream I became, the more I lost touch with the fun part of the Internet, everyone else.
I began Internet safety volunteer groups and ran them entirely online. But posting was work, not fun. And I spent time online because I had to, not because I wanted to. Instead of devoting time to jokes and learning about others, I was fielding hundreds and sometimes thousands of daily e-mails from people who wanted my advice, wanted to share their thoughts with me, wanted my help.
I knew about blogs, which harkened back to the good old days when I began using the Net and AOL. But dismissed them. "Who had time for blogging?" I wondered. Eugene Volokh, now well known in teh bloggin circles, was one fo those who hung out together with me in lawyers-only networks. We would chat about law, love and policy. Movies, music and infidelity. Being able to discourse with so many bright and well-informed people (even if they all were lawyers :-)) was so much fun.
I couldn't get enough. When in Moscow, in my now former husband's inner office, I unplugged a red phone to the Kremlin to use the special phone access to reach Counsel Connect and send posts from there. I understand Yeltsin's staff got a busy signal one time, and I denied knowing why :-).
It's truly sad when I look at 1993 and see it as the good old days. But much as changed. Now, instead of posting on AOL, I am interviewed on the Today Show or by the New York Times or People Magazine. And my e-mail responses are as short as possible to conserve my typing energy. (Everyone who reads this blog knows I cannot type or spell :-))
After a conference in June, 2004 I decided it was time to start blogging. It didn't take long for my blog to get noticed. (It doesn't hurt that I am a columnist for Informationweek.com :-)) I also became the subect of a cybersmear campaign that passed lies which were, unfortunately, picked up by bloggers thinking they were being given the truth. But, that's the nature of the Net. Good, bad, truth, lies, it's all about sharing our thoughts and ideas and opinions.
I am starting to enjoy this. It brings me back to the good old days.
I still can't type, or spell, but I am having lots more fun while doing it. :-)
Parry
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Saturday, September 11, 2004
WiredSafety.org and September 11
Internet Safety, Help and Education: WiredPatrol, Special Programs - September 11Our online safety group was transformed for months to help the families and the world heal. The Ground Zero Christmas Tree angels was one of our projects. Take a moment to read the tributes and pray for liberty and peace.
we remember all lost on September 11th
I am sitting here before my television watching the families of the victims of September 11th read their names. I am crying and remembering.
On September 11th I was going to be on the Rosie O'Donnell Show when the second plane hit. I was driving into the city when the first plane hit and thought (as most others did) that it was a drunk or misguided pilot. I didn't believe it when we heard the second plane had hit and we were under attack. But when they evacuated Rockefeller Center, it was obvioys that something horrible had really happened.
I had both of my children where working in NY, and I spent a hour tracking them down. I brought my daughter to my law offices and together, while I was e-mailing the Whitehouse, the FBI and my hackers, we watched the buildings collapse. It took us seven hours ot drive out of manhattan that day, a drive that usually takes 20 minutes. We watched people trudging across the 59th street Bridge covered with dust, blood and faces filled with shock and pain. Old women with canes, young men carrying babies, people walking barefoot in some cases with ripped clothing and blank stares.
The cars and trucks stopped to give them rides, and we had a case of Evian water in our trunk we passed out.
While wiredsafety.org is an online safety group, we immediately went to work providing help to the families of victims. One of our teen volunteers lost her father at the World Trade centers. We enlisted our volunteers to provide teams of help to the families of the victims. We posted their posters, helped them get through day-to-day and provided a place where generous people from across the world could send help, and items needed by the families, to them. We teamed our volunteers into gruop for our family match program, where three volunteers were paired with each family of the victims to provide warmth, caring and support 24/7.
Within three days I was at teh Whitehouse helping create programs to keep the children from hating others and from living with fear. The program was called E-Mail America, and allowed children from around the world to send messages to others in NY, President Bush and even a search and rescue dog we found, named Servous. I wrote a children's story about this brave dog, and the new puppy named by the children to take over when Servous died from the injuries he sustained at Ground Zero.
We provided the ornament angels for the Ground Zero Christmas tree with a group of generous people from around the United States, thousands of angels decorated by the old, the sick, the caring and children. I was honored ot be the one who turned on the lights and will never forget the construction workers in the dust lights, crying as they hung these fragile paper angels on the tree using Verizon's cherrypicker cable trucks.
The stories of our work and the works of others will be part of history. But none of this would have been possible without the Internet. It allowed us to reach out when phones didn't work in New York. It allowed people from around the world to volunteer their time and caring to help the victims directly, it allowed people making paper angels to reach me and have them hung at Ground Zero.
I know we should be hopeful on this day. But I am just sitting here grieving with the families, knowing we are all together in this today as we were three years ago.
The enormity of this is beyond comprehension.
but watching other mothers and fathers and children read the names and leave messages for the lost family members makes it about each one. As the names are read we are reminded that everyone is represented among the lost. Arabs, Persians, Europeans, Asians, South and Central Americans, Australians and New Zealanders, Africans and Americans, all together in our loses.
All together on something that should never happen again and should never have happened. The world grieves.
and so do I.
may God be with us all.
Parry
On September 11th I was going to be on the Rosie O'Donnell Show when the second plane hit. I was driving into the city when the first plane hit and thought (as most others did) that it was a drunk or misguided pilot. I didn't believe it when we heard the second plane had hit and we were under attack. But when they evacuated Rockefeller Center, it was obvioys that something horrible had really happened.
I had both of my children where working in NY, and I spent a hour tracking them down. I brought my daughter to my law offices and together, while I was e-mailing the Whitehouse, the FBI and my hackers, we watched the buildings collapse. It took us seven hours ot drive out of manhattan that day, a drive that usually takes 20 minutes. We watched people trudging across the 59th street Bridge covered with dust, blood and faces filled with shock and pain. Old women with canes, young men carrying babies, people walking barefoot in some cases with ripped clothing and blank stares.
The cars and trucks stopped to give them rides, and we had a case of Evian water in our trunk we passed out.
While wiredsafety.org is an online safety group, we immediately went to work providing help to the families of victims. One of our teen volunteers lost her father at the World Trade centers. We enlisted our volunteers to provide teams of help to the families of the victims. We posted their posters, helped them get through day-to-day and provided a place where generous people from across the world could send help, and items needed by the families, to them. We teamed our volunteers into gruop for our family match program, where three volunteers were paired with each family of the victims to provide warmth, caring and support 24/7.
Within three days I was at teh Whitehouse helping create programs to keep the children from hating others and from living with fear. The program was called E-Mail America, and allowed children from around the world to send messages to others in NY, President Bush and even a search and rescue dog we found, named Servous. I wrote a children's story about this brave dog, and the new puppy named by the children to take over when Servous died from the injuries he sustained at Ground Zero.
We provided the ornament angels for the Ground Zero Christmas tree with a group of generous people from around the United States, thousands of angels decorated by the old, the sick, the caring and children. I was honored ot be the one who turned on the lights and will never forget the construction workers in the dust lights, crying as they hung these fragile paper angels on the tree using Verizon's cherrypicker cable trucks.
The stories of our work and the works of others will be part of history. But none of this would have been possible without the Internet. It allowed us to reach out when phones didn't work in New York. It allowed people from around the world to volunteer their time and caring to help the victims directly, it allowed people making paper angels to reach me and have them hung at Ground Zero.
I know we should be hopeful on this day. But I am just sitting here grieving with the families, knowing we are all together in this today as we were three years ago.
The enormity of this is beyond comprehension.
but watching other mothers and fathers and children read the names and leave messages for the lost family members makes it about each one. As the names are read we are reminded that everyone is represented among the lost. Arabs, Persians, Europeans, Asians, South and Central Americans, Australians and New Zealanders, Africans and Americans, all together in our loses.
All together on something that should never happen again and should never have happened. The world grieves.
and so do I.
may God be with us all.
Parry
Friday, September 10, 2004
CNN.com - Transcripts- A discussion of child pornography online
CNN.com - TranscriptsAn Interview with Parry on CNN International. It's old, but provides answers ot FAQs.
Monday, September 06, 2004
Get a Life!!!
Get a Life!
I have no life. And if you find yourself reading my columns late at night or on weekends, or more than once, I suspect you don’t either. There is something special about people who work with information technology. There are fewer structures in what we do, when we do and from where. We work from home, on the road, from our Blackberries and Palm Pilots. We use wireless connections in the airport lounges, at StarBucks and in hotel lobbies. We are always “on” and never fully “off.”
My best friends are virtual. Many of my relationships started that way too. I shop online, browse online and sell my leftover stuff online. I share my thoughts in blogs and am even writing that long promised cyber-suspense novel online in a blog (cyberdectetive.blogspot.com). I make dinner arrangements with my children, share driving directions with my long lost relatives and book restaurant reservations and confirm the other guests all…you’ve got it…online too!
So, when I decided that I had no life and wanted to get one, where did I turn? To the Internet, of course. I started the way I always do, using my Google toolbar. I put in “fun + things to do + New Jersey.” Not much came up, so I thought I’d drill down a bit. I’ve always wanted to learn to kayak. (Although the thought of an Eskimo-roll makes my stomach ache.) So, I searched for “Kayak + New Jersey.” But the locations were too far from home. Then I thought – “Swingdancing!” (I wasn’t exactly sure what that entailed, but that and salsa dancing sounded like fun.) But I ended up with several Fred Astaire studios. (Not quite what I had in mind.)
I went down the list of things I wanted to do “someday” using my Frankin Covey Plan Plus (for Outlook). That included pottery lessons, whitewater raft trips and floats, health spas with ginger scrubs, anyplace with a waterfall, cruises on the Windstar and exotic vacations (preferably with spas and ginger scrubs, waterfalls, pottery lessons and whitewater kayaking).
I don’t ask for much. I found a website where the person prides himself in helping others have fun. I e-mailed him and he took pity on me, and sent me some jokes. This wasn’t exactly my idea of getting a life either. I sat on Luxurylink.com for hours on end, clicking on one exotic luxury vacation auction after another. But between my speaking engagements, my friend’s wedding, and consulting obligations I couldn’t figure out how to actually take the exotic vacations I couldn’t afford anyway. I found a fake excel spreadsheet designed as a screen saver to fool your boss into thinking you are working. But since I work from home, and my kids don’t really care if I have an excel spreadsheet on my screen, that wasn’t as much fun as I thought it might be.
I surfed Amazon for awhile, and checked out everything in my gold treasure chest, passing (as always) on everything. Then using my eBay toolbar (which I couple with my Google one) I searched for arbors, fencing and a firepit. I was sure that what was missing in my life was a big backyard oasis with friends sitting around toasting marshmallows for s’mores. (You can’t get the Girl Scout out of the girl, I guess.) Instead I bought a hot tub at a great price delivered. Now for sure I couldn’t afford the exotic trips I was eyeing at LuxuryLink but invisioned lots of friends coming over and toasting each other with cold champagne in the hot bubbling water and laughing. (I had to have them toasting with champagne since marshmallows were now out of the question because I couldn’t afford the fire pit anymore.)
The hot tub looks very inviting as I sit at my computer in my home office every night. And I fully intend to strip off my Internet-umbilical cord and everything else to sit in it sometime. My only reservations are that I don’t drink, my kids would freak out if they knew I ever used the hot tub sans bathing suit and most of my friends are in England, or New Zealand, or Canada, or San Francisco or Hong Kong or Bulgaria or India. And the commute, even for a terrific hot tub experience with me is a bit long. And they wouldn’t have any idea what a s’more was, and even if they did, wouldn’t be caught dead eating one. And they don’t swing dance or salsa, although my virtual friends from Seattle do kayak!
I won’t give up though. I found a website today called funnewjersey.com, and have my eye on a hot air ballooning trip and a float down the Delaware. I can picture myself coming home afterwards and sitting in my hot tub talking about the day with my friends, over a glass of cold champagne. Or maybe rowing out to my overwater bura in Fiji or flying in on a sea-plane to that wilderness lodge in western Canada. As long as they have wireless water-proof connections so I can stay in touch with my friends and check my e-mail.
I’ll record it all in my new Palm T3, and save the urls on my Blackberry and keep the list up-to-date in my PlanPlus interface (which I synchronize with my desktop, laptop and my T3). Because someday, I’m going to get a life and I need to be prepared.
I have no life. And if you find yourself reading my columns late at night or on weekends, or more than once, I suspect you don’t either. There is something special about people who work with information technology. There are fewer structures in what we do, when we do and from where. We work from home, on the road, from our Blackberries and Palm Pilots. We use wireless connections in the airport lounges, at StarBucks and in hotel lobbies. We are always “on” and never fully “off.”
My best friends are virtual. Many of my relationships started that way too. I shop online, browse online and sell my leftover stuff online. I share my thoughts in blogs and am even writing that long promised cyber-suspense novel online in a blog (cyberdectetive.blogspot.com). I make dinner arrangements with my children, share driving directions with my long lost relatives and book restaurant reservations and confirm the other guests all…you’ve got it…online too!
So, when I decided that I had no life and wanted to get one, where did I turn? To the Internet, of course. I started the way I always do, using my Google toolbar. I put in “fun + things to do + New Jersey.” Not much came up, so I thought I’d drill down a bit. I’ve always wanted to learn to kayak. (Although the thought of an Eskimo-roll makes my stomach ache.) So, I searched for “Kayak + New Jersey.” But the locations were too far from home. Then I thought – “Swingdancing!” (I wasn’t exactly sure what that entailed, but that and salsa dancing sounded like fun.) But I ended up with several Fred Astaire studios. (Not quite what I had in mind.)
I went down the list of things I wanted to do “someday” using my Frankin Covey Plan Plus (for Outlook). That included pottery lessons, whitewater raft trips and floats, health spas with ginger scrubs, anyplace with a waterfall, cruises on the Windstar and exotic vacations (preferably with spas and ginger scrubs, waterfalls, pottery lessons and whitewater kayaking).
I don’t ask for much. I found a website where the person prides himself in helping others have fun. I e-mailed him and he took pity on me, and sent me some jokes. This wasn’t exactly my idea of getting a life either. I sat on Luxurylink.com for hours on end, clicking on one exotic luxury vacation auction after another. But between my speaking engagements, my friend’s wedding, and consulting obligations I couldn’t figure out how to actually take the exotic vacations I couldn’t afford anyway. I found a fake excel spreadsheet designed as a screen saver to fool your boss into thinking you are working. But since I work from home, and my kids don’t really care if I have an excel spreadsheet on my screen, that wasn’t as much fun as I thought it might be.
I surfed Amazon for awhile, and checked out everything in my gold treasure chest, passing (as always) on everything. Then using my eBay toolbar (which I couple with my Google one) I searched for arbors, fencing and a firepit. I was sure that what was missing in my life was a big backyard oasis with friends sitting around toasting marshmallows for s’mores. (You can’t get the Girl Scout out of the girl, I guess.) Instead I bought a hot tub at a great price delivered. Now for sure I couldn’t afford the exotic trips I was eyeing at LuxuryLink but invisioned lots of friends coming over and toasting each other with cold champagne in the hot bubbling water and laughing. (I had to have them toasting with champagne since marshmallows were now out of the question because I couldn’t afford the fire pit anymore.)
The hot tub looks very inviting as I sit at my computer in my home office every night. And I fully intend to strip off my Internet-umbilical cord and everything else to sit in it sometime. My only reservations are that I don’t drink, my kids would freak out if they knew I ever used the hot tub sans bathing suit and most of my friends are in England, or New Zealand, or Canada, or San Francisco or Hong Kong or Bulgaria or India. And the commute, even for a terrific hot tub experience with me is a bit long. And they wouldn’t have any idea what a s’more was, and even if they did, wouldn’t be caught dead eating one. And they don’t swing dance or salsa, although my virtual friends from Seattle do kayak!
I won’t give up though. I found a website today called funnewjersey.com, and have my eye on a hot air ballooning trip and a float down the Delaware. I can picture myself coming home afterwards and sitting in my hot tub talking about the day with my friends, over a glass of cold champagne. Or maybe rowing out to my overwater bura in Fiji or flying in on a sea-plane to that wilderness lodge in western Canada. As long as they have wireless water-proof connections so I can stay in touch with my friends and check my e-mail.
I’ll record it all in my new Palm T3, and save the urls on my Blackberry and keep the list up-to-date in my PlanPlus interface (which I synchronize with my desktop, laptop and my T3). Because someday, I’m going to get a life and I need to be prepared.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
The New York Times > Education > Internet Gives Teenage Bullies Weapons to Wound From Afar
The New York Times > Education > Internet Gives Teenage Bullies Weapons to Wound From AfarLearn about how kids target each other using technology and what we can do about it. Check out the new pre-launch pages of InternetSuperheroes.org and our cyberbullying materials.
Friday, August 13, 2004
WiredSafety's Protecting Your Personal Information Online, Spyware
Safety, Protecting Your Personal Information Online, SpywareEveryone hates spyware...learn what you need ot know to keep it off your computer.
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