I never really thought I would blog about how I felt. I blog about safety, law and kids and families online. I blog as a public service and information outlet. But, I'm a mother of two, a woman and someone who has seen (sadly) more than I ever wanted to see about the horrors online and in life.
I posted the intro to my new book, explaining why I gave up my practice of law, sold everything I owned and donate my time running WiredSafety. It's a story I am asked to repeat often, for TV, magazines and other people's books. I can tell it quickly and no longer feel like I have to vomit when doing so. It has become a practiced speech.
I often cut out the more graphic details about how she was forced to be positioned, or the pain on her face. How her eyes were squeezed shut and her hair was plastered with sweat, and her face drenched in tears.
But, it's there. Like a hot branding iron applied to your brain. It is deeply burned into my mind and my heart. I tried searching for her for years. It became a mission. I needed to hold her and tell her that it would be okay, that someone would help her.
But I failed.
Her image is the last I see before falling asleep, and the reason I awake in the middle of the night.
I wish I had a magic wand to stop this torture of children. But I don't.
While I applaude arrests like these, and pray for more - soon! I think about all of the thousands upon thousands of children who continue to be raped for the pleasure of those willing ot pay for those images. For all those being raped on demand, by text and IM requests to the molesters, in real time...to those whos pain will be used to fill the coffers of the animals who do this and support it.
Today I am happy that some children's pain will be over, and saddened that so many more need to be saved.
Today I feel how little I have been able to accomplish in this, no matter how much time I devote to it and how hard I work and how much money I donated to this effort.
Today I thanks my thousands of volunteers...and hope for thousands more.
Today I ask anyone reading this post to think a mooment about what you can do to help stop the pain of these children. Do something, even a simple prayer for them would help.